Spinning My Wheels

I want to post a blog touching on one of my usual themes—wonder, creativity, humor—but today those feel a little scarce.

Well, I do feel wonder as I sit today in this blizzard, the worst I’ve seen in many years.  And in mid-April yet.

I know a few of you are living where spring has indeed arrived. I hope you are full of renewed energy.

For us in the Midwest, not much has changed for the better in the outer world in the past two weeks, when I wrote about struggling to find my patience. Now that impatience–for spring, for positive change, inside and out–feels more discouraging than angry. I feel kind of muffled and mired, able to do all the necessary daily tasks but lacking the will and energy to do the many things that would probably lift my spirits and vitality.

Or maybe just feeling tired of doing them all winter and wanting a change.

Wanting the sensual contact with nature that spring brings. The grounding. The joy.

I wrote this poem several years ago, but it feels appropriate today as I realize what’s missing right now (not all of which involves springtime):

Groundless 

For too many days now I have not danced,

tickled spritish spirit with leaps and twirls,

or dissolved, exhilarated, in sunshine splash,

been pricked awake by gusty winds or cardinal call,

clutched rainbow blossoms to my greedy nose,

or burned to merge with musk and sweat.

 

Too many days since I have sought the dark,

ventured in, with quiet breath,

pen in hand,

to listen

and dictate

whisperings wild.

 

begin—stop—veer—clunk! rattle!–turn back–

foggy wisps of longing, lurking,

I haunt my days, a noisy ghost,

feet hovering just above the ground.

 

Nothing to engage the gears

to make the wheel turn

 

How are you feeling these days?

What ways have you found to stay grounded until spring truly arrives?

How are you cultivating your joy?

 

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8 Comments

  1. I so love your poem Anne.

    Reply
    • Anne Peek

      Thank you Holli. I imagine it’s been easy for you to stay grounded this winter in your beautiful, warm surroundings…

      Reply
  2. Hi Anne, ok I was trying to think of positive things as I read your message. We had a good hint of spring and lost it again.
    We were in Iowa last week visiting our friend who lives on the river. Her house sits on top of an old rail bridge footing. Windows surround us so we could look up and down the river.
    It snowed about a foot and the brown woods turned to a black and white picture. We had a quite day of talking, eating and game playing. The next day it all melted. So fast from spring to summer to spring again. The animals were out deer, otters, hawks and eagles. It was a hopeful, exciting sign of spring.
    I have daffodils (daffodillies my grandson called them when he was little) poking through the ground, now deep under the snow. So my heart knows spring is around the corner.
    There must be something to this waiting, longing and wanting. It’s felt ok to have a few days of “in” time without rushing out to be in the world again. The quiet and stillness is relaxing, reminding me to admire its quality and nourishment, different from the nurturing I feel with green all around me. So I am thankful for the last bit of winter, but looking forward to springs awesomeness.

    Reply
    • Anne Peek

      Lovely story of your trip Nancy! Thank you. Yes, maybe this delayed spring is reminding me not to rush forward too soon, to let my yearning for the new gestate a bit longer…

      Reply
      • I was looking through your blog and saw the radio show you aired on. I had missed it and in rushing around forgotten about it. Today was a great day to listen to it. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for making my day brighter.

        Reply
        • Anne Peek

          So glad you enjoyed it Nancy!

          Reply
  3. Anne, I so understand where your heart is at. This has been a very long winter. Despite our abilities to be superwoman at will most times, the energy just isn’t flowing in right now. But this too shall pass. Know that tulips will bloom again, as will your inner energy. The longer we hibernate, the more energy we have upon awakening!

    Reply
    • Anne Peek

      Yes, you are so right Leslie. Oddly enough, even though everything I wrote about feeling kind of stuck is true, it also feels ok, like it’s in the flow too (the trough of the wave, I guess). I hope you are not feeling stuck too.

      Reply

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